I’m with Christi

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So this past week, millions of women across the Nation gathered to walk for the Women’s March.  The March was about standing up for the rights of Women and other minority groups in America (in a nutshell).  Everyone who knows me knows I am all about equal rights for women.  We can do anything they can do (well except the biological stuff like making sperm!)  I’m involved in numerous organizations that work to empower women to take control of their own lives and not be victimized any longer.  I really had no desire to go walk in this March.  For one, I don’t really do crowds.  But also in the days leading up to the March, I was very disappointed and actually more irritated by the celebrities they had as the “face” of the March.  In the days since the March, my Facebook feed has been cluttered with all sorts of news and personal posts about the March and the behaviors of many of the women who participated.  I have some friends who went and the things I’m about to write are in NO WAY meant to disparage them or the reasons they felt compelled to go.  I respect EVERYONE’S right to make their voice heard and the manner in which they choose to go about it – within reason.

I came across a piece that showed up on numerous pages across Facebook.  From Christi:  A woman posted this (presumably her name is Christi) piece which was here opinion and stance on the March.  The link is actually from another page protesting her opinion.  There are many different opinions posted out there but this way really caught my attention because of the things the writer of this particular page countered “Christi” and her thoughts.  I have to say I’M WITH CHRISTI on all this!  Again, let me say again that I spend my days working with and helping women – women that are defined as “disadvantaged” and women who have been sexually assaulted either as children and/or during military service.  I, myself, was brought up in a “disadvantaged” family. I incurred numerous “oppressions” during my 40+ years from family members, men, and even the military.  I always felt I had no voice and that the things that happened to me were “just the way it was.”  So I have serious issue with the overall “vibe” of how this March went down.

So to begin, let’s talk about the purpose – Women’s March this page breaks down the fundamental purpose of the March.  The main theme here is “respecting rights of everyone”.  Well based on the news and person videos I’ve seen on Facebook taken at the March in different cities across the US – I’m calling BULLSHIT on it!  I do believe at some level, this was the main point of the March, but our society has become so convoluted in its beliefs and honestly some people will jump on ANY bandwagon to create havoc.  So when I call the BS flag – I honestly mean no disrespect to those (and like I said before I have friends who went) who were truly their for that purpose.  But what I mostly saw was WOMEN verbally harassing and attacking other WOMEN.  The biggest one was the Pro Life/Pro Choice issue.  I am a Christian and based on that alone I do believe that abortion is against the Bible.  And by the way, in my younger, naïve days, I DID have an abortion at the age of 18.  But I respect each woman’s decision on how  feels on this topic.  I also DO agree that this subject is between HER and GOD, and the government should NOT be in the equation.  So back to the purpose of the March (RESPECTING PERSONAL RIGHTS), I saw NUMEROUS instances of PRO-CHOICE groups (of women) verbally assaulting/bullying women wearing PRO-LIFE shirts and holding signs with similar writing.  How is that respecting EVERYONE’S rights?  What is boils down to is “Respect what WE think is important or the way things should be or go fly a kite.”  You can’t have it both ways.

No let’s take a different perspective on this.  Women want respect and to be taken seriously, right?  Well I don’t have much respect for a majority of the women I saw Marching.  Wearing vulgar profanities on their shirts such as “Not my p%^sy!” and other such nastiness.  Well I’ll just say these women belong right up their with Madonna.  You reap what you sow Ladies.  You want respect, then demand it in a respectable manner.  Look, I spent a lot of  years in the military – a MAN’s world.  And yes, I did succumb to the locker room jokes and profanity in order to “fit in” and hopefully be accepted as one of them.  I absolutely HATE that I did that because it didn’t do me an ounce of good.  Do I still cuss?  ABSOLUTELY!  But I do it less and less and I definitely don’t do it in such public platforms.  Women complain about the vulgarities that men say about women and “oh I’m so offended by what he said”  GIVE ME A BREAK!!  You ladies say the exact same stuff about men when you are among other women.  What’s the difference?  Do I agree with or approve of the Trump’s comments in that interview years ago about grabbing women’s southern region?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  But to base your hate for him and where he might lead this country on what truly was nothing more than boys’ locker room banter – well that is like the pot calling the kettle black.  Again, I’ll say this March had some merit and there were those who went to truly voice their rights but overall I believe this March was just another opportunity to lash out at our new President.  Let me go back to the whole celebrity thing for a second.  All these women celebrities (even during the campaign prior to him being elected) who were contesting and opposing him and standing up “for women’s rights” we a bunch of hypocrites seeking more attention to their celebrity status.  If you want to be taken seriously and seen in a more respectful manner – having female celebrities known mainly for their over-sexualization of women is NOT gonna do it. “We are not sexual objects for a man’s pleasure” but you have the most sexual and provocative female celebrities as your spokeswoman?  Then there was the video of Ashley Judd.  OMG to the 5th power!!!  You think THAT will get your respect as a woman – NOT!!!

Ok enough bashing the bashers.  Let me get back to the “Christi” story.  The “To Christi on Facebook” writer pretty much implies that all the Christi supporters are educated, well-off women who really can’t relate to struggles of most women in our society.  She cites several instances of why this woman or that woman CAN’T do this or that.  Look, I’ve already told you my background.  Actually, let me elaborate a bit more.  I was molested as a child, raised by an alcoholic single mother, dropped out of school in 10th grade, got knocked up at 17, married a drug addict/drug dealer at 19.  So I would say I definitely fall into the class of women that lived a “struggled” life.  But what I learned very quickly was that victim mentality would get me no where.  Where there is a will there is a way.  You have to make sacrifices to get what you want in life and by definition, SACRIFICES are not easy nor pleasant.  You want to make change?  Join the military.  Run for public office.  Or start smaller by getting involved in volunteer organizations in your community that help with suffrage of women and minorities.  Educate yourself on the system and then get involved with and become that system.  I left my family and joined the military.  I gave up  a child for adoption because I knew that was the better option for HIM.  I sacrificed nearly 20 years of time with my family to secure a better life for me and my later children.  The military wasn’t always the easiest.  And getting out was even harder.  But I’ve learned to educate myself.  EVERYTHING is available online now.  Libraries provide access to the internet for those that can’t afford their own service.  Stop saying “I can’t” and get off your ass and start fighting for what you want in a respectful and admirable way.  THAT is how we make change.  We educate ourselves and band together as women (and other minority groups) and we do it in a professional, respectful way. NOT by blaring profanities on our clothing and on signs.

Also, did you see all the trash that was left on the streets after the March?  Seriously??  You want respect but you go there and completely trash the streets with your profanity-ridden and Trump-hating signs and think THAT is ok?  So now TAX DOLLARS that could be going to programs that could benefit YOU now have to go towards cleaning up the streets.

Last thought here – Ladies you must start banding together in a productive, respectful way.  You don’t have to agree with each other on everything.  It’s ok to disagree!  But being hateful and bullying other women for their own beliefs is nothing short of hypocritical and will most definitely keep you in this “oppressed” place that you feel women in our country are.  Do I think we are equal to men in this country?  I think we still have a ways to go, but compared to what happens to women in other countries, I think we are LUCKY to be American women.  Instead of Marching for the right to look and act like Madonna, think about the women in other countries who aren’t allowed to drive, who get brutally raped daily, and many other such travesties.  How about you put your time and efforts to making change for them.  And also keep fighting for the golden ticket of being equal here in America but do it in a way that people will respect.

Again, I do want to say that I do NOT disapprove of the idea of a March for Women’s Rights.  I value and respect my friend’s decisions to go their and make their voice heard.  My issue with this March is solely based on the manner in which a majority of women present acted and “represented” all women and the hate and bullying that was directed to other women there who were also trying to be vocal about THEIR rights as well.  Overall, I felt this March was more hypocrisy than productive and now lots of taxpayer money has to clean it up.

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